Rape. A Bird in a cage and a tin of paint.
My rape as a young male is possibly the most difficult of subjects I had to re visit and write about in the whole book. Male rape is arguably the worst form of bulling possible. When writing the chapters around being sexually abused I do not research the topic, just sat and recollected the pain I endured and wrote as I did. It was very much a stop-start activity. I had to go away from the keyboard several times to counter the emotions I felt whilst writing. It made me question my sexuality, my worth as a human, made me lie and I felt cheated of part of my life. I know now that these feelings, as a victim, are not special to me. Other victims must also feel the range of negativity that I felt. Perhaps, back in the day, if I could have accessed conversation with other sufferers I would not have held the mental pain for so long.
I trust, hope and pray that my story helps others and this site will be a used as a transport to start erasing the emptiness and guilt for other victims hurting in a way that was never accessible to me. Please, please please use the blogs to vent inner-held feelings and begin to be open and honest with oneself and life again.
Chris Stewart.
A Bird In A Cage And A Tin Of Paint 
Chris, to join the group, just click the link I provided you in my comment. You will have to login to your Facebook account. So ask your wife how to do that. Then you can access the link and request to be added. All requests come to me. It’s a closed, private group so not just anyone can join.
There are several male survivors of childhood sexual abuse in my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/speakoutfromunder/. I’d love you to come and join them and share your story as they are doing. I will post a link to your blog for our members Chris. Keep up the good work.
Thanks again viglannd. How do I join the group? Chris Stewart